It seems that keeping chickens, growing veg and having a woodburning stove are collectively the new black. Or the new scarlet or bling or whatever was previously in vogue. Well, what do you know? For once I am right on the button. The chickens are laying more eggs than we can eat, the veg plot is being extended next week and the woodburning stove is being installed tomorrow. I think I’m more excited about this than anything else we’ve had done to the house and cannot wait to light it, especially with snow forecast this week.

Otherwise, fashion passes me by in a blur of incomprehension. My ‘wardrobe’ is pitiful. Let me be frank. In the past month I have worn two pairs of shoes – my working boots for working – obviously – and a natty pair of grey boots for absolutely everything else. I have two pairs of jeans for work which I usually wear until they look seriously grubby and one pair of green chinos to change into if I need to be a bit smarter. I have a drawer full of brown/green/orange/mud coloured plain cotton t-shirts which get worn in various combinations until they all seem a bit fusty, then all go in the wash together. On top go various fleeces – green for grubby work, red, orange or cream for clean. And that’s it – my entire wardrobe for the past month. (Since you ask, I do wear clean underwear everyday – what do you take me for!)

When the need arises, I do scrub up quite well. Despite my advancing years and rugged lifestyle I still have decent skin, a surprisingly flat stomach and can slide into a size 10 frock, if bribed to. I can even do heels, if I practice a bit. And I agree that how we dress affects how we feel and influences the perception of others. But, quite simply, I can’t be bothered. I’d rather muck out the chickens, dig the veg plot or chop wood, and I don’t give a monkeys if it’s fashionable or not.

Talking of monkeys, the Garden Monkey has hung up his acerbic pen. Shame – I rather enjoyed his/(her?) withering insights. Still, there’s no TV gardening to mock right now is there? How come we get Masterchef four nights out of five and no gardening? I firmly believe there are more gardeners than there are real cooks (who cook from scratch). Harrumph.